The Blue Men of Minch

Interview of The Blue Men of Minch
Interview conducted by a slightly hostile Penelope De La Fuente. It should be noted that following the advice, recipes, or “how to” instructions of fictional characters is not recommended and could lead to disastrous, unintended results. Proceed with all appropriate caution, buffoonery and balderdash follow.

Penelope: I hate to label you as the villains in this story, but that would be an accurate description.

Eoghan: Well, flattery is often the interviewers best tool, however in this case we wouldn’t consider ourselves to be villains so much as heroes of Scotland.

Penelope: Forgive me, but heroes? I don’t recall many heroic acts.

Eoghan: We have been activists working towards an independent Scottish state since 1395. We will never bow down to the English and all of our actions in this story and in the hundreds of years preceding it must be viewed in that light.

Penelope: I guess we will have to agree to disagree on this. It is my opinion that you are bullies and scoundrels. Now is not the time or place to argue semantics. I thought one of the more interesting facts about The Blue Men of Minch..

Fionna: Oi..The Blue Men and Woman…I would think an intelligent young woman like yourself would understand the importance of recognizing the contributions of women to this story

Penelope: What was your relationship with the Pict King. Is it true that he adopted you as children and that you later betrayed him and trapped him in a cave?

Eoghan: Why do you always choose to see things in the most negative possible light? We relieved him of the tiresome burden of ruling the Picts and gifted him with eternal life. There was a small price of being confined to the cave, but that was an entirely unintended consequence.

Penelope: Very well then, why don’t you tell us your side of the story?

Eoghan: Well, much like the baby Jesus we were found floating upon the waters, just wee little bairns.

Fionna: Just as bald and brainless as you are today…the baby Jesus was born in a manger, it was the baby Moses that was floating on the river…

Fearghas: Don’t interrupt when a man is speaking, remember your place.

Fearchar: You’ll not be talking to Fionna like that.

Fearghas: Or what? You’ll kiss her again. I’ll scorch my own eyeballs out of my skull if I have to witness such a ghastly act again.

Penelope: Please put away the knives, you made a pact with the Faerie Queene, no bloodshed during the interviews! Eoghan please continue with your story.

Eoghan: The Pict King’s older sister was down near the rocky shore throwing nets from her currach when she heard the mournful wailing of a babe. She saw us out in the rough water we were tangled in the kelp amongst the wreckage of an English ship. The sea was agitated, the waves were pushing us towards our deaths on the sharp rocks. She braved the danger of the breaking waves and the freezing sea and pulled us into the safety of her small wooden vessel using her fishing net.