Bartholemues: Why do they have me interviewing you? You are quite possibly my least favorite person in all of Scotland. You are a cheater, a liar, a thief. You dress like a vagrant rock star from the seventies.
Faerie Prince: It does bring me some small amount of gratification to see that you are still hurting from the rather sound drubbing I have given you. If it wasn’t for those demonic little villains inside those video games I would have defeated you at every endeavor.
Bartholemues: Cheating is not the same thing as winning.
Faerie Prince: Says the loser. Skillful manipulation of the rules, a strong command of semantics. Definitely not the same as cheating. I didn’t hear you complaining when I outwitted the Blue Men of Minch. Where would the Stone of Scone be if it weren’t for my wit, wile, charm and good looks? Enough about you and that chip on your shoulder. I have found that jealousy is a rather common trait amongst those I have defeated with my guile. Let’s talk more about my clothes. Do you really admire them?
Bartholemues: How on earth did you draw the conclusion that I admire the way you dress?
Faerie Prince: You had such nice things to say, do you really think I look like a rock star?
Bartholemues: Let’s talk about those seventeen miniature coffins that were found on Arthur’s Seat.
Faerie Prince: I am quite certain I have no idea what you are referring to.
Bartholemues: How many years did you spend trapped in those small wooden coffins? I believe you were ensnared by the Blue Men of Minch when you lost a wager?
Faerie Prince: In my defense it was after a long weekend of debauchery and drinking. Really should never get into a drinking contest with those fellows.
Bartholemues: Would you care to tell us about the young heroes that came to your rescue?
Faerie Prince: I believe that is a story best left for another time.
Bartholemues: Well, I can see gratitude comes hard for you. What story would you like to tell us then?